Looking After My Own Needs

Do you often put other people’s needs and demands above your own?  I think everyone does that at some point in their life.  The key to changing the habit is to first notice you’re doing it.

I was in that realization place recently.  Putting myself first is something I’ve become brilliant at with a lot of practice, however it rears its head from time to time.  When I noticed it recently, I asked myself some critical questions:

  1. Was the situation really about getting my needs met?
  2. Was it always to do with ‘time’?
  3. Did I think it was about not valuing myself, or something else?
  4. Was I putting their needs above my own for a specific reason, or was I just not honoring myself?
  5. What time limit was I giving myself to figure the above out?

Situations like the one described above tend to rear their head in multiples.  That is, I’ll notice for a whole day I tend to put others first.  It’s usually linked to time as well.  So for example, I might be finishing off some work with someone and keep going instead of finishing early to give myself enough time to get to the all important coffee and catchup with my friend.   I then arrive late, which impacts not just me, but my friend as well.

So when that starts to happen, I sit up and take notice.

So, what can I do about it?  After I’ve noticed, I can then evaluate the situations that happened over the day and also look back over the last couple of weeks and find out where it began, plus if there were any unusual circumstances.

I’ve begun using the ‘reminders’ option in my mobile phone as a great way of keeping to time when I need to remember to do something.  Today though I didn’t set any reminders.  So I figured out having a ‘jogger’ to jog my memory about the important things to me is a great idea.

They say it takes 30 days to change a habit, I reckon it’s immediate if you notice, then put something in place that’s repetitious to ensure you keep doing something different.

What that means for me is, when I know a situation is coming up and there’s a possibility I won’t value my time over someone else’s time, I’ll set my ‘reminder’ to let me know it’s time to quit out of the situation I’m in and step into looking after my own needs and time.

 


Fiona

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