Surviving a Long Distance Relationship

Secrets to Surviving a
Long Distance Relationship


Instead of Just Surviving a Long Distance Relationship
Learn How to Thrive in It With Love


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Are you struggling to find the answers to surviving a long distance relationship?

You’re not alone. Some people struggle to even begin a long distance love, they rule it out before it even gets off the ground.

Many Issues Facing Relationships From Afar…

  • Jealousy – many of my clients say they can’t switch off the chattering voice inside their heads they call ‘doubt’. They begin to imagine what their partner is doing without them, and that imagining turns into ‘fear’ – ‘what if he/she is seeing someone else’…
  • Peer Pressure – the pressure from family and friends to find a more suitable relationship closer to home
  • Cost – the escalating cost of getting together for example the cost of flights or a long road trip plus phone calls etc
  • Feeling Stuck at a cross roads – who will eventually move to live with the other? If the relationship is ever going to become permanent, most people assume someone will have to move house for the relationship to work
  • Money issues – this effects every relationship, a mis-understanding of each other’s money values
  • It feels like a holiday romance – and fear rears it’s head – ‘what if we begin arguing if we live together’?
  • Experiences spent part – a huge chunk of experiences are spent without your partner

These are all valid fears, doubts and concerns. Some of the strategies to overcoming these hurdles are relatively simple but they all require some work on your part. Are you ready to commit to the challenge?

I’ll briefly talk about some of the top issues most people face below and you can also follow some links below for more in-depth help, strategies and advice options.

Because everyone absorbs information or learns differently, I have included a combination of products for you to obtain instantly.

Jealousy and Surviving a Long Distance Relationship

upset-working-woman-smallHere’s a quick effective technique to use when you’re experiencing the feelings of jealousy. It may take more in-depth coaching for you to permanently overcome this issue, but this could help in the meantime:

Jealousy Be-gone Technique

To help you gain instant relief whenever your jealous thoughts occur, try this simple technique, it only take a couple of minutes.

Your jealous thoughts have become a habit, they can be changed but it takes time and commitment to do so. Are you ready to begin? Follow the simple instructions now and see how quickly you can turn your thoughts to positive ones:

First make yourself comfortable, sit in a quite place and close your eyes. Now take a few deep breaths, breath in for the count of three, hold for a moment and breath out for the count of three, in for 1, 2, 3, hold, out for 1, 2, 3. Now imagine your feet, feel them grounded on the floor, feel your breathing slow down now, nice rhythm, in and out.

Now bring your jealous thoughts into your awareness. What exactly are you thinking? Try starting off “I’m thinking that….”. And fill in the blank. Don’t judge your thoughts at this stage, we’re just after the reality of your thoughts.

Now ask yourself if you know these thoughts are true, can you absolutely know that they are true? Or could it be your imagination is running wild. So are you thoughts actually true – just a yes or no answer here.

What evidence do you have that your thoughts are true, whether your thoughts are true or not, just bring your awareness into your heart and trust your gut answer. What do you feel in your body when you think those thoughts, heaviness, pain?

Now allow your sensations to be present without judging, breathe into them, keep breathing slowly until you feel the tension lessen.

Now we’ll begin to replace your jealous movie that you’ve been replaying in your mind for so long. Let’s bring your awareness onto what you want, and away from what you don’t want.

If you know your jealous thoughts aren’t true, but you can’t stop thinking those thoughts, begin by replacing those thoughts with a favorite memory you have of you and your partner. Remember a moment in your relationship when you were really happy.

Humans can’t tell the difference between real and imagined as real – that’s been proven in experiments where one group of people were told to begin training and exercising every day and another group just imagined themselves doing that same training and exercise. What they found was both groups experienced the same level of fitness.

So we can do the same with our brains but imagining a fabulous relationship instead of the jealous thoughts. Both outcomes could be equally true and if your partner really is doing something that is questionable, then deal with that behavior, instead of keeping it locked inside your head.

So back to the technique. The trick is to shift your awareness onto what you ‘do want’ and away from what you don’t want. Here’s an example for you:

Scenario one has me thinking thoughts of jealously about my partner. I’m imagining him having an affair, or seeing someone else behind my back. I’m imagining him talking to other women and having fun.

Scenario Two – those same thoughts surface and instead I dismiss them and begin to say to myself (think) ‘I’m so grateful I have a partner who loves me and can’t wait to see me. I love his sincerity and passion for our relationship. I’m so glad he has friends to spend time with when I’m not there with him. He always remembers to ring me and if we have an off day, we can easily talk about it and rectify anything’.

This scenario could include remembering the last time you were together, holding hands , watching your favourite movie or whatever.

To illustrate how imagining something is so powerful, imagine yourself cutting open a fresh lemon and opening your mouth to take a big bite of it, what happened, chances are you salivated or winced. It’s your body’s reaction to something that you only imagined.

The same is true of jealousy. When you imagine your partner wanting to be with someone else (or whatever keeps you up at night), you are running and re-running that movie until it becomes very real to you.

The truth is…jealousy is a habit and it’s a habit that can be broken.

If you know there is some substance behind your jealous thoughts, then some good relationship counseling or coaching could help you. Click here to visit my relationship services page for more information.

More on Jealousy

Almost every case I have seen around a jealously issue could be re-labelled ‘control’. Most people that become jealous are trying to ‘control’ their partner’s actions.

Sometimes it could be a case of ‘I’ve been hurt before and had a partner cheat on the relationship, so I’m wary’.

Here’s where you get to self-evaluate. What I know is true is that we always attract to us, the people that match either:

  • what we believe about ourselves, or
  • where our thoughts are directed, or
  • the persona that we project to the world

Let me explain. If a person has low self esteem or places a low value on themselves, they will likely attract a partner who reinforces that belief for them. So if I believed I wasn’t good enough or ‘why would someone want a relationship with me’, then I’d probably attract a partner who looked elsewhere to fulfill his or her needs.

If I kept thinking ‘what if my partner’s seeing someone else, I’m sure he is, I just know it’. Pretty soon it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So how do you change those thoughts? There are many strategies, the Jealousy Begone Technique above is just one, it begins by focusing your attention onto what you want and away from what you don’t want, eg:

  • I appreciate my loving trustworthy partner, versus
  • I don’t want to have an untrustworthy partner

Cost Issues for Surviving a Long Distance Relationship

Surviving a Long Distance Relationshiop

Quite often money issues in relationships could be easily fixed by simply gaining an understanding of each of your money values.

I run comprehensive courses on money, either by telephone, in person or as an online course. Visit my Services Page to find out more.

Peer Pressure and Surviving a Long Distance Relationship

Long Distance RelationshipsPeer pressure can be a big issue for those in surviving a long distance relationship. Does the conversation below sound familiar to you?

‘Wouldn’t you be better meeting someone closer to home’? or

‘What about when you need a partner for something, like a partner for a dinner invite or to your work function’

Friends and family mean well, however they are merely emphasizing their own fears of what they would worry about if they were you in your situation. Their concerns could be valid, however try and keep your focus on what ‘you’ want and what’s right for you. Everyone has an opinion about what would best suit us, but remember they’re not you, only you can know what’s right for you. With a simple coaching session, I can give you some fabulous techniques and wording to deal with your well-meaning friends and family and get you back to focusing your attention on your fabulous relationship. Visit my Services Page for help.

It Feels Like a Holiday Romance

Surviving a Long Distance Relationship

This is a valid fear. Does this sound familiar ‘what if one of us relocates, maybe we wouldn’t be able to actually live together on a full time basis, the romance might disappear’.

I love to deal with ‘reality’, when we get stuck in the fantasy fears that often way us down, we miss the point.

Who said you ‘have’ to live together in the same location? That is just society’s ‘rule’ and people’s judgments getting in the way. When you strip all of that away, you’re left with reality. Answer these simple questions:

  • does what we have work?
  • are we both happy to continue our relationship this way?
  • how could we keep the relationship on track?

Experiences Spent Without Your Partner

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This is true and a very real and valid concern and just one of the many issues you could face with surviving a long distance relationship. When you’re in the process of surviving a long distance relationship, you will spend time with friends without your partner. Try the strategy below to start with:

  • Focus your attention on the positive aspects you have right here, right now of your relationship;
  • Begin a Gratitude Journal or Ritual morning and night. Upon awakening and before you go to sleep, finish off the sentence which begins ‘I’m so grateful I have…’. For example ‘I’m so grateful I have the freedom to do the things I want and still communicate with love to my partner. I’m so grateful I have the love and support of my partner. I’m so grateful I get to have a romantic relationship, the fact that we spend time apart makes the relationship much more lively when we’re together’.

Keep adding to your gratitude list. You can add some statements as if they are already present in your life. It’s a great way to begin your day – I always say to myself ‘I’m grateful for the fantastic day that lies before me’.