Relationship Advice and Date Nights

Is Your Relationship On Track?

I was reminded recently when my lovely friend came to stay, how easy it is to let every day life get in the way.

We were talking about relationships and how it’s so easy to let life get in the way and become too busy or not bothered with making an effort.

Relationships are much like the plants in your garden.  Think about a person who becomes interested in vegetable gardening for a minute.  They initially become really interested in the whole process, they prepare the soil, adding fertilizer and mulch.  Then they are ready to purchase the seedlings and plant them.  So they think about what vegetables they love the most, purchase them and then the planting begins.

For a while they’re really keen, they remember to water the plants every day.  Then they get really busy, or the garden seems a long way away from the kitchen and so begins the decline of the veggie patch.

It could be that winter sets in and they still have veggies in the garden that grow in the winter time but getting out there seems ‘too hard’, ‘too cold’, ‘too busy to bother’.

So what happens to the garden?

  1. The weeds begin to grow wild
  2. The plants suffer and wilt with slack of water
  3. Those that do survive don’t produce healthy vibrant results

Your relationship is much the same.  In order to keep the relationship healthy, vibrant and alive, you need to nurture it.

However, if we think about the garden again for a moment, if, when you first planted your seeds, you wouldn’t then go back 3 days later and dig up the soil to see what the seed was doing, you’d tend to the soil, nurture it and let nature take it’s course, otherwise the seeds wouldn’t grow!

So I see two key factors coming from the above information:

  1. In order for your relationship to remain vibrant and alive, you need to nurture it, spend time – schedule date nights in your calendar.
  2. However, don’t obsess so much in the beginning that you stifle the relationship’s natural flow.

I saw an episode of Oprah recently where a couple had become distant and were not intimate in their marriage any longer.  Oprah had a therapist on the show who said they needed to schedule some date nights in their diary.  These date nights needed to include intimacy.

Some members of the audience raised the question as to whether this was too orchestrated.  The therapist’s response was – our lives are very full, we get busy and it’s so easy to put things off until another day.  What the date night does, if you schedule it in your diary and you know it’s coming up, you begin to think about it, plan it, expect it and look forward to it.

So if you’re in a relationship, you might like to regularly schedule some date night.  You might also want to think about some ‘away nights’, where you go and stay away from home together.  It’s so easy to let life intervene when you’re in your own environment, there’s something about being away that has you focus solely on the present.

Here’s to your successful date nights.


Fiona

Fiona Christie Blog

Welcome to my blog.  Here you’ll find useful tips, information, insights and my ramblings to help you in your quest development.

I’ve created seven categories that form the basis of my coaching, I’ll also be adding ‘tags’ so you can search for specific topics.

Here’s a metaphor to explain categories and tags using the grocery store:

  • A ‘category’ is like an aisle sign post in the supermarket.  So down aisle number 3 you might find breakfast cereals.  Breakfast cereals would be a ‘category’
  • A ‘tag’ is the particular type of cereal.  For example ‘breakfast oats’ or ‘muesli’.  Or it could be the ‘brand’ of cereal.

So the category is the product type, and the tag is the flavor or brand.

Fiona Christie

Here’s you’ll find my ramblings.  I decided I wanted a way to talk about my progress, my insights, my learnings along the way.  It’s a space where I can let you know what I’m up to, I can share my ‘aha’ moments.

Money and You

This category is where I’ll share insights about:

  • the psychology of money
  • why we do what we do with it
  • Why some people have it and some don’t
  • Strategies that can  help you have more of it
  • Share some great money programs with you that can help you on your quest to becoming forever financially free

Personal Development

This is where I’ll share the gems that lie beneath the surface of what creates great happiness, fulfillment and achievement.  Personal Development has changed my life and continues to do so.

Professional Development

There is where I’ll share some of my techniques.  I’ll also discuss various professional development topics, what’s hot, what’s not.

Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice – most people assume this relates to ‘love relationships’.  Yes it does, but it also relates to relationships we have with ourselves, with our money, with our careers, with the people in our lives.  Originally, the header for my website was going to state that I specialized in ‘Relationship Development’ but I realized that people would assume I meant ‘love relationships’ only.  And whilst one part of my business works with people looking to improve, begin or leave a love relationship, it is far more than that.  So here you’ll find wisdom and insights into how to ‘do’ relationships better.

Feel free to use the code attached to the ‘grab this button’ on the sidebar if you want to link to my website.

Enjoy!

Fiona Christie - Professional and Personal Development


Fiona

The Guide to Attracting and Keeping Mr/Ms Right

Do You Have Your Shopping List for Love?

So many people end up in relationships only to realize that they’ve re-created the same sort of relationship they just left behind.

And it doesn’t end there.  Some people continue to re-create exactly that same pattern again and again – always thinking there’s something wrong with their ‘ex’, never once stopping to ask ‘what could I do differently’, in order to break the cycle.

In order to attract the right relationship, you need to get really specific about what it is that you want – that’s the first step in the process.  Think of it this way, you wouldn’t purchase a house without first doing some very detailed research.  You might get a builders survey done on the house, you might get a valuation done to determine if you are paying the right price for the house, you also might make a very detailed list of what you want in the home.

Even a house purchase seems to fall flat sometimes, that’s because some of the key ingredients in the process are overlooked.  One of them is called ‘the Law of Feelings’, you simply must ask yourself how you want to feel when you’re in your home.

So what does this have to do with a relationship and attracting the right person?  Most people attack the process of meeting someone without much thought and they definitely don’t have a ‘game plan’ in place to ensure that the odds of getting it right are there.

That was certainly me when I entered my first marriage.  When they marriage broke down 14 years later, I took some much needed time out and researched, drew on my extensive coaching knowledge and skill and came up with a way that would guarantee I’d meet the right man.  I then put those steps into action and married him in May 2007.

That sounds very clinical, however the process – which is actually a whole heap of fun, works.  Take a look at the detailed description of the book here.


Fiona