Looking After My Own Needs

Do you often put other people’s needs and demands above your own?  I think everyone does that at some point in their life.  The key to changing the habit is to first notice you’re doing it.

I was in that realization place recently.  Putting myself first is something I’ve become brilliant at with a lot of practice, however it rears its head from time to time.  When I noticed it recently, I asked myself some critical questions:

  1. Was the situation really about getting my needs met?
  2. Was it always to do with ‘time’?
  3. Did I think it was about not valuing myself, or something else?
  4. Was I putting their needs above my own for a specific reason, or was I just not honoring myself?
  5. What time limit was I giving myself to figure the above out?

Situations like the one described above tend to rear their head in multiples.  That is, I’ll notice for a whole day I tend to put others first.  It’s usually linked to time as well.  So for example, I might be finishing off some work with someone and keep going instead of finishing early to give myself enough time to get to the all important coffee and catchup with my friend.   I then arrive late, which impacts not just me, but my friend as well.

So when that starts to happen, I sit up and take notice.

So, what can I do about it?  After I’ve noticed, I can then evaluate the situations that happened over the day and also look back over the last couple of weeks and find out where it began, plus if there were any unusual circumstances.

I’ve begun using the ‘reminders’ option in my mobile phone as a great way of keeping to time when I need to remember to do something.  Today though I didn’t set any reminders.  So I figured out having a ‘jogger’ to jog my memory about the important things to me is a great idea.

They say it takes 30 days to change a habit, I reckon it’s immediate if you notice, then put something in place that’s repetitious to ensure you keep doing something different.

What that means for me is, when I know a situation is coming up and there’s a possibility I won’t value my time over someone else’s time, I’ll set my ‘reminder’ to let me know it’s time to quit out of the situation I’m in and step into looking after my own needs and time.

 


Fiona

I’ll Worry About That Later

Be Careful what you say…

‘I’ll Worry About That Later’, is that a phrase that enters your vocabulary?  It’s time to change…

Given whatever we focus our attention on, we attract more of, the statement ‘I’ll Worry About That Later’, is not something I’d want to be focusing any of my attention on.

Generally, people utter this as a fly away comment when they haven’t finished doing something or need to make a decision but haven’t got time.

‘Worry’ about that later… guess what you do when you finally get around to thinking or doing something about it?  The trouble is, in between times you also ‘worry’:

  • you worry about when you might complete the task
  • you worry that you might not get it done on time
  • you worry what others might think
  • you worry you can’t afford it
  • you worry you’ll never get to the end of it

That’s a heck of a lot of worry time.  Imagine if you re-channeled all that worry time into something productive?  You’d probably have the task completed by now….

Let your worries go, just drop them.  Imagine your worries are a small piece of paper.  Now imagine holding it out in front of you, what do you have to do to ‘drop’ that piece of paper – that’s right – you just have a ‘let it go’ and it falls effortlessly to the ground.

It’s the same with letting go of worries.  It then leaves room for you to become constructive and creative.  You’re more likely to find answers.

Worry-less, Achieve-more.


Fiona

Giving Without Expectation

Fairy Duster Glimpse (4 of 4)First We Must Give

and then, and only then…. will we receive

The hardest concept for most people is to let go of their expectation; and

    • Letting go of your expectation of the outcome.  Being attached is another way of putting it
  • Everything will come once you give up your need for attachment to the outcome
  • At the same time, shift your thoughts towards what you want and away from what you don’t want
  • Be still and allow yourself to meditate every day asking for help and protection from within
  • Stay focused on your goals
  • Move away (distance yourself) from those that do not support you in the way you need to be supported
  • Make choices based on your intuition (your gut feelings) that support and set you up to head towards the life of your dreams

Fiona

Finding Yourself

Big BubbleDo You Want Your Life to Flow With Ease?

Once you allow yourself quality stillness, your life with flow with ease.  Time for meditation, connecting with the God/presence/spirit within you.

When you are able to do that on a regular basis, you will fin a freedom that many dream of and few reach.

If you’ve followed my blog, then you’ll know there are some clear steps along the way and if you follow these, every day, you’ll begin to receive exactly what you want:

  1. Live with intention (the power of intention)
  2. The Laws of Attraction
  3. Every day asking for what you want and giving thanks for what you have
  4. Giving of yourself to others freely, without expectation

Fiona

Taking Time for Your Soul – Mediation

Right now I’m on holiday in the wonderful town of Nelson, New Zealand.  I love this place and I’m reminded how important it is to ‘take time for your soul’.

I’ve recently been focussing a renewed attention on meditation.  I’m reading Kelvin Cruickshank’s book and it is reminding me that anyone is capable of connecting with spirit.

Meditation has so many benefits, most of them you can’t ‘see’, however your life will flow and everything will, seemingly without effort, follow the right path.

I drove from Christchurch to Nelson on Friday 15th, beautiful drive, how wonderful this country is.  Before that I was on holiday in Queenstown, seeing the wonderful Mount Cook on the way.  When you visit the South Island you can’t help but feel connected with the land, with the spirit that this wonderful country holds.

I wanted to post an article today reminding everything to bring meditation into your daily life.  Meditation is as simple as being ‘still’, a simple way to start is to just focus on your breath, in and out.  Ask for protection and guidance before you begin and I often like to have a ‘intention’ for the meditation before I begin too, asking my spirit guides to help me with whatever intention it is I have for my life at that time.

Meditation is not some ‘woo woo’ weird thing, it’s been practised for countless years, give it a try, find a meditation group near you.

Till next time, relax, enjoy and have fun!


Fiona

Spending Your Life With Someone

How do you ensure you get it right?

The journey is about evolving, you have to be 100% sure of, and know yourself in order to operate on the same vibrational frequency as the man or woman who will ultimately feed your soul.

If you don’t believe in yourself, beyond all doubt, then you’ll end up attracting someone on that vibrational plane.

Things I’ve learned about love, myself and my soul:

  • I used to be ‘needy’ – I needed a relationship
  • I felt ‘stiffled’ for a long time as if I had someone else putting the brakes on, limiting my choices, but now I understand that I’m the one who limits my own choices, I limit them because I stay in a relationship that doesn’t serve me – that doesn’t mean to say I have to leave it – it means I either work to get it right and if that’s not possible, then I leave it.

I want to sing and dance and meditate and pray and laugh, and go on retreats and not work if that’s what fuels me.

To have no time limits.

Like today, there was no boundary, I was driving from Christchurch to Nelson and I could have stopped the night somewhere – or not.

I didn’t, I chose to drive right through.  Six months ago I would have seen that as ‘me being scared’ and I would have turned the whole scenario over in my head for days saying ‘I wish I’d taken the time when I had it and stopped and allowed myself to stay on my own’.

But I let it go, and I’m happy.  I made the right choice, I’m in a comfy bed, I’m warm and safe and with people who love me.

I have time to write, to read, to meditate.  I’m in a house and a city I love – Nelson.

Today has been the best day of my life so far.

I’m looking forward to tomorrow being the best again.  Some of the things I love about me:

  • I’m wise
  • I’m open to learning
  • I see things as they are
  • I question

Till  next time – more of my musings.


Fiona

New Year + New Start = Add Bucket Loads of Self Confidence to Your Bucket List

If You’re Lacking in Self Confidence, It’s No Laughing Matter – I know I’ve Tried It

When Self Confidence seems to elude you and you look around and everyone else seems to have it by the bucket load, you begin to see every situation as daunting.  Probably, like me, you start to avoid certain people or situations.  You’ll also think you’ll never be able to overcome your low self confidence.

Life is so affected by self confidence (or lack of it).  The outcome of almost every situation you encounter is influenced by how confidence you feel and in turn what you say, do and project because of that level of self confidence.  Here are just a few situations that could leave you with a feeling of dread:

  1. An important business meeting
  2. Parities and social gatherings with new people
  3. Dating
  4. Getting the result you want in your relationships
  5. Joining new groups or hobbies (turning up on the first night)

There are so many situations, where do I begin!

I remember when I was seriously lacking in self confidence, going to parties and I’d try and think of every possible excuse as to why I couldn’t or shouldn’t go.  Even if I went with my husband or friends, that didn’t really help.  Invariably they would see someone they knew and begin a lively conversation.  For a while I could listen but eventually I was so worried about what to say, I would drift off and be standing the corner, waiting for someone, anyone to take pity.

It’s Much More Difficult to Be the Wallflower at Parties

Yes, the above statement is so true.  Now that I’ve gone over the other side and have good level of self confidence and self esteem, I realise just how much effort it took to be the person standing in the corner at parties:

  • I’d worry about what people would thin
  • I’d constantly be trying to think of something witty or intelligent to say or do
  • I’d be forever comparing myself to others

My Top Trick for Overcoming a Lack of Self Confidence

You see, misguidedly I thought I was the one who needed to appear intelligent or who needed to know what to say or do.  I’d read some books and tried some stuff, but none of it had worked.  One big tip I learned – and there are so many tricks and quick things you can do – was that in order to be ‘interesting’, you need to be ‘interested’.  That means being interested in other people, without worrying whether they’re interested in me.

If You’re Reading This Article, It’s Your Turn to Make 2011 the Year to Fulfil Your Bucket List Dream with Massive Self Confidence

If You’re Lacking in Self Confidence, It’s No Laughing Matter – I know I’ve Tried It

When Self Confidence seems to elude you and you look around and everyone else seems to have it by the bucket load, you begin to see every situation as daunting. Probably, like me, you start to avoid certain people or situations. You’ll also think you’ll never be able to overcome your low self confidence.

Life is so affected by self confidence (or lack of it). The outcome of almost every situation you encounter is influenced by how confidence you feel and in turn what you say, do and project because of that level of self confidence. Here are just a few situations that could leave you with a feeling of dread:

- An important business meeting

- Parities and social gatherings with new people

- Dating

- Getting the result you want in your relationships

- Joining new groups or hobbies (turning up on the first night)

There are so many situations, where do I begin!

I remember when I was seriously lacking in self confidence, going to parties and I’d try and think of every possible excuse as to why I couldn’t or shouldn’t go. Even if I went with my husband or friends, that didn’t really help. Invariably they would see someone they knew and begin a lively conversation. For a while I could listen but eventually I was so worried about what to say, I would drift off and be standing the corner, waiting for someone, anyone to take pity.

It’s Much More Difficult to Be the Wallflower at Parties

Yes, the above statement is so true. Now that I’ve gone over the other side and have good level of self confidence and self esteem, I realise just how much effort it took to be the person standing in the corner at parties:

- I’d worry about what people would thin

- I’d constantly be trying to think of something witty or intelligent to say or do

- I’d be forever comparing myself to others

My Top Trick for Overcoming a Lack of Self Confidence

You see, misguidedly I thought I was the one who needed to appear intelligent or who needed to know what to say or do. I’d read some books and tried some stuff, but none of it had worked. One big tip I learned – and there are so many tricks and quick things you can do – was that in order to be ‘interesting’, you need to be ‘interested’. That means being interested in other people, without worrying whether they’re interested in me.

If You’re Reading This Article, It’s Your Turn

If You’re Lacking in Self Confidence, It’s No Laughing Matter – I know I’ve Tried It

When Self Confidence seems to elude you and you look around and everyone else seems to have it by the bucket load, you begin to see every situation as daunting.  Probably, like me, you start to avoid certain people or situations.  You’ll also think you’ll never be able to overcome your low self confidence.

Life is so affected by self confidence (or lack of it).  The outcome of almost every situation you encounter is influenced by how confidence you feel and in turn what you say, do and project because of that level of self confidence.  Here are just a few situations that could leave you with a feeling of dread:

-  An important business meeting

-  Parities and social gatherings with new people

-  Dating

-  Getting the result you want in your relationships

-  Joining new groups or hobbies (turning up on the first night)

There are so many situations, where do I begin!

I remember when I was seriously lacking in self confidence, going to parties and I’d try and think of every possible excuse as to why I couldn’t or shouldn’t go.  Even if I went with my husband or friends, that didn’t really help.  Invariably they would see someone they knew and begin a lively conversation.  For a while I could listen but eventually I was so worried about what to say, I would drift off and be standing the corner, waiting for someone, anyone to take pity.

It’s Much More Difficult to Be the Wallflower at Parties

Yes, the above statement is so true.  Now that I’ve gone over the other side and have good level of self confidence and self esteem, I realise just how much effort it took to be the person standing in the corner at parties:

-   I’d worry about what people would thin

-  I’d constantly be trying to think of something witty or intelligent to say or do

-  I’d be forever comparing myself to others

My Top Trick for Overcoming a Lack of Self Confidence

You see, misguidedly I thought I was the one who needed to appear intelligent or who needed to know what to say or do.  I’d read some books and tried some stuff, but none of it had worked.  One big tip I learned – and there are so many tricks and quick things you can do – was that in order to be ‘interesting’, you need to be ‘interested’.  That means being interested in other people, without worrying whether they’re interested in me.

If You’re Reading This Article, It’s Your Turn to Make 2011 the Year to Fulfil Your Bucket List Dream with Massive Self Confidence

Make your New Year a Brand New Start, Overcome Your Lack of Self Confidence Once and For All – You Deserve To Put Yourself First <a target=”_new” href=”http://www.fionachristie.info”>click on this link</a> to begin your journey to the new self confident you. <a target=”_new” href=”http://www.fionachristie.info”>Obtain Self Confidence Easily</a>

to Make 2011 the Year to Fulfil Your Bucket List Dream with Massive Self Confidence

Make your New Year a Brand New Start, Overcome Your Lack of Self Confidence Once and For All – You Deserve To Put Yourself First <a target=”_new” href=”http://www.fionachristie.info”>click on this link</a> to begin your journey to the new self confident you. <a target=”_new” href=”http://www.fionachristie.info”>Obtain Self Confidence Easily</a>

Make your New Year a Brand New Start, Overcome Your Lack of Self Confidence Once and For All – You Deserve To Put Yourself First click on this link to begin your journey to the new self confident you. Obtain Self Confidence Easily


Fiona

Professional Supervision and Your Leadership Development Matters

Professional Supervision hasn’t hit the limelight as it should have.  Most people know about Leadership Development, and those that know about Professional Supervision are primarily from non-government organizations or NGOs.  However, when you delve with a much more powerful magnifying glass, you will see that they have very similar traits – or at least they ‘should’ have.

Professional Supervision and it’s shortcomings

I see the results of those that have fallen short and I believe the biggest reason is the lack of an accountability based program.  From my experience, the most powerful driving force to effect positive lasting change and influence to become accountable for the outcomes.

In my book ‘One Minute Goals’, I enlarge on this topic and you’ll soon realise having a driving force behind your need to change and get better results dramatically increases your chances of success.

Awaken Your Full Potential and You’ll Awaken Your Staffs

If you practice an accountability based process for yourself, you’ll begin to see dramatic results, not only for yourself, but for your staff.

A lot of managers and leaders assume that it is not necessary or indeed it is out of line to discuss personal issues and blockages that are holding them back professionally.  This is often due to the misguided notion that using company funds to work on personal issues is not ethically sound.

I beg to differ and have proven time and time again that the personal blockages are responsible for the non-achievement professionally.  And that means settling for being unable to rise above the crowd to lead your team, your staff, your management and yourself to achieve outstanding results.

Conclusion

I am living proof that an accountability based model is the most powerful way to effect change and see lasting results.  I see it in my own life, when I veer from the path of accountability (with major consequence as an outcome for non-compliance) my achievement and productivity and my effective leadership of others falls way below what I know is possible.

Invitation

Contact me to find out what it will mean for you, your organization, your staff, management team and colleagues to access this accountability results driven program today.  Go directly to the Contact Page on my website.


Fiona

The Power of Intention

Where Attention Goes, Energy Flows

What if you could use your thoughts to create whatever you wanted in your life?  I was reminded about this powerful personal development wonder the other day.  Whenever you focus your attention or ‘intention’, fully and completely on whatever it is you want to manifest in your life, you will begin to see examples of the subject you have chosen to focus on everywhere.

I was facilitating a budget program yesterday and gave the participants the example of my bright yellow car.

Some years ago I was in the market to replace my car, so I went looking in the car yards with my friend’s husband who is a mechanic by trade.  We saw a bright yellow Honda Logo.  I wasn’t that fussed on the car at first, but once I sat in it, and realized I could raise the seat up I was sold (you can probably guess by now that I’m fairly short).

Anyway, I hadn’t heard of Honda Logo’s before I purchased the car, let alone seen a yellow one.  Once I drove out of the car yard, I began to see Honda Logo’s everywhere.  Not only that, but I saw yellow ones everywhere.  Those cars were there before, but I hadn’t seen them.  Why?  I’ll explain more.

Also, my friends began to see them everywhere as well.  They would often say to me – “I saw you driving your car the other day, waved out, and you didn’t wave back”.  When I questioned where they had seen me, I informed them it actually wasn’t me, but another yellow Honda Logo”.

Reticular Activating System

The reason we began seeing them everywhere is due to the Reticular Activating System, or RAS for short.  It’s the part of the brain that acts like a filter.  It filters out information for us.

It is said human beings have roughly 60,000 thoughts every day.  Now we can’t possible give those 60,000 thoughts our full attention, so we filter out what’s most important to us.

Science now confirms that our thoughts are magnetic in nature, so whatever we focus on, we will get more of.  That’s why it’s no mistake or coincidence when you are thinking about an old friend who you haven’t seen for a couple of years, suddenly the phone rings and it’s them.

Whenever I’m having a bad day, I remind myself to re-focus my intention and attention on what I want to create, rather than on what I don’t want, and my day instantly improves.

Try it, you might be pleasantly surprised.


Fiona

Dr Wayne Dyer – When You Change The Way You Look At Things…

Dr Wayne Dyer – The Power of Intention

I am a big fan of Dr Wayne Dyer.  His latest video which relates to his book The Power of Intention really resonates with me.  I love what he says ‘when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change’ – so very true.

We can only change the way we ‘see’ things.  I was also listening to Gay and Katie Hendricks recently and they said it in a slightly different way ‘I commit to seeing you as my alley’

The way to have what you want in this world is so very simple but as complex beings, we ‘over complicate it’.  Enjoy the video below and if you’re looking for the book you can purchase it by clicking on the picture below:

The Power of Intention


Fiona